I double dog dare you to ask yourself this question?

>> 17 April 2009

This is a guest post from one of the best thinkers and writers I know...My sister. 
Courtney Crow Wyrtzen, I know you are a truly gifted writer, and a deep thinker, and I appreciate your thoughts on being your best. I know many of us struggle with this question...if we are even to really ask ourselves that question. You are brave in asking and the greatest part is, you will find what your best really is! Thanks for letting me reprint your work. 

I have been thinking about this all week since my colleague Rana Reedsposted this video on her Facebook page:

Tears were streaming down my eyes the other day as I watched this. My son was worried since I was crying and that man was screaming but I reassured him that everything was ok. I've had to wonder this week - what is MY very best, my very best

I used to think I knew and I would strive and push for perfection and high output but I would often crash in the end. My results were like fireworks, impressive, colorful, gone in a flash. I enjoyed my results but I often longed to know the feeling of satisfaction that came with sustained results. Slower in coming perhaps - - less impressive maybe, but steady and effective and in its own way - beautiful.

Something else that has frequently tripped me up is if others think I am giving my very best then that was enough - even if deep inside I knew it was not my best. But my successes felt hollow and I knew I could not back them up with repeated results. I can also look the part - dress the "right" way, show up with a fancy hairdo with makeup on (even on a basketball court or track). I have always been thin and pretty and could play nice and follow the rules and write good thank you notes and wear the right clothes to an evening wedding. And somewhere along the way I got the notion that this was what being my very best was all about.

My very best, huh?

I used to be a track star, the very best. I won state titles (ok, little private school state titles but still). But was that my very best? During practice I ran around the bend and sat down with another teammate to chat before we headed back saying we'd run 3 miles to the bridge and back. I smoked and drank and quit the team my senior year. Hardly my very best.

In school I procrastinated and goofed off until the threat of college loomed large and then I got down to business my Senior year and made all A's - my GPA was ok, it could've been better. I applied to one school that didn't even have that great of an academic reputation because I thought that was all I could accomplish. Hardly my very best.

I've put in similar efforts in other areas of my life: work, school, play, marriage, parenting - - and Ive done enough to get by, even be admired by some. But has it been my very best? At least I pulled it off in appearances, right?

Striving is not my very best either. Nor is perfection or presumption or just being professional or courteous for the sake of appearances. 

I have been thinking about my very best all week and at the same time accepting myself for my weaknesses and faults. I wasn't sure what to write in this blog post until yesterday I saw this: Susan Boyle

Susan's very best had nothing to do with all of the outside trappings that I have been so impressed with (things that come naturally to me and to Brock, the team leader in the video above). It had nothing to do with what everyone thought of her before she opened her mouth. It had nothing to do with whether or not they believed in her.

She opened her mouth and she sang and she stunned them all. And she could do it again and again and again if she had to.

I want to find my very best and somehow, by the grace of God, turn it on again and again and again and again. I think I am afraid of that. Maybe afraid I won't find it or afraid I can't live it once I do. I am a bit afraid, but not enough to turn around and run back. Not enough to not try. Not enough to just pretend my very best is unattainable.

Susan Boyle was probably terrified (like Paul Potts before her) and she had little or no support from the people in the room. But she gave her very best and she touched my heart with that and everything else about her. If I could do that then...well then that would be just great.

Hebrews 10:39 But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.


lana 7:02 PM  

Awesome... I am completely convicted over this...thank you so much for sharing